Walking in Snow is Like Walking in Sand but Worse

Me, Mike, and Travis hiked from Kwaaymii Point along the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) on a Sunday morning. To get to the trailhead, you take Sunrise Highway over the entire mountain until you begin to descend and see a turn off right before the Anza-Borrego state park sign. There had been some snow so we decided to get an earlier start. That meant getting out of the house and dragging my ass into my car at 7:45am. That seems pathetic but I’m a die hard night owl who falls asleep at 3am so my eyes felt as though they were being pried open with pliers.

There were a few people at the trailhead playing in pathetic amounts of snow but it was mostly clear. It was 46 degrees which didn’t seem bad because we were wearing gear but as soon as we opened the car doors the wind nearly slammed it back shut as if to say “HA! You thought wrong BITCH!” Nevertheless, I shimmied out of the car and proceeded to have my ass handed to me by the freezing gusts of wind that rattled my bones. We quickly suited up, and took off.

Once we did a short climb we got around a bend and was protected from the wind and found some snow on the trail. I brought my trekking poles which I was initially embarassed about. We were on the hike with our friend who does shit like hike in Patagonia and is super cool but it’s always a little intimidating being with other people who are a) fit b) got legs that are a mile long and therefore walk fast. The poles ended up being super useful because the snow was tricky to walk through and made the trail muddy where I, a person with zero reflexes and balance, was bound to fall.

Typically I cannot shut the fuck up. However, when I’m on hikes I tend to get quiet because I’m focusing on walking a good pace and my mind is racing because hell, I’m always anxious. I felt a little disappointing because I was between Travis and Mike and we were all basically silent. I felt like I was throwing them off their groove and interrupting guy time. I think it’s normal to feel guilty for the space you take up as a large person or to try and apologize for being slower but I’m trying to learn to stop making myself the punchline of the joke for being fat and doing a physical activity like hiking.

After resting for about 15 minutes, we headed back. There was definitely more uphill on the way back, not too steep but made the calves burn a bit and got the heart pumpin’. I was really thankful that I had the poles because I kept slipping and sliding while huffing and puffing. At this point I said “Fuck it,” and told the guys to go ahead of me. It was what I needed, I threw it into low gear and used my poles to slowly make it back.

It’s okay to ask to be in the back if you feel a little embarrassed about breathing hard or your slow pace. But don’t forget that it’s also okay to go your pace and be in the front to motivate you. If you’re around the right people, they won’t mind the time it takes as long as they get to see some beautiful views and spend some time outdoors. If they tease you for being slow, you have full permission to beat them with your poles.

Go easy on yourself and remember that you’re out there and you’re doing it instead of being wrapped in a blanket burrito on your bed. Happy Trails!
Kwaaymii Point:
Beauty – 8/10
Difficulty – 5.5/10
Mileage – 5.25 miles